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Reality Is Just A Song by ~flameinthematrix:iconflameinthematrix:



The poet is strumming his guitar
Performing for everyone's desire
He can't hear the wind talking back
Obnoxious laughter is heard instead
Eyes are glinting at him
Mocking him with a mean stare

Is this real?

Immaturity is an illusion, he says
It hides the fact that you've changed
Changed like a blossoming tulip into an ugly weed
Change is real, my friend
Said the wind, with a chuckle in his breath

Now, my friend knows you have some things against him
He says they're nothing but pitiful excuses
Floating past the truth like an airplane in the clouds
When he sleeps he dreams of you, wind

Are these dreams ever to become true?

Reality is his need, his weakness
Reality is the power to turn you back into that flower
Reality is just a song
But the songs reality changes everything

And change is real, after all.
©2004-2009 ~flameinthematrix
:iconflameinthematrix:

Author's Comments

The first work i've submitted in what...a year and a half? anyway, you'll probably notice the change in the style of my writing, because i've been through alot the past year or so. Please leave criticism, good or bad, the usual kind of stuff. Hope you like it!

Comments


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:iconlaroose:
very nice. i love it. change is real... pretty cool man

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:-
:iconmindphase:
Nice use of prose and I like the highlighting. What I'm not to keen on is that the piece seems to be confused, and mixed up. If thats the idea then I apologise but it seems to me that there is more to the poem than is written here.

Just my opinion - take it or leave it :)

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By popular request this signiature has been removed ;)
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:iconcatastrophe-waitress:
Wow. Very powerful poem. I love how certain lines are bolded to emphasize their meaning. Nicely done.

--
"I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel."
:iconliiga:
I like it, but I find it somewhat hard to follow - there's a lot of 'he' going on, and I had to go back and check whom the poem is on about each time, as the characters change around. I'm not knowledgeable about poetry, so take it with a grain of salt. :)

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I bite! o,,o
:icongmtb:
Cool, it's like a ephiany while tripping.
Quite introvertive I feel.
Nicely done.

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"Make a joke and I will sigh
And you will laugh and I will cry
Happiness I can not feel
And love to me is so unreal"
:iconpolkadotsoup:
I like the concept of the poem and some of the imagery used; however, I feel that this poem could have been a lot stronger if you worked on how the lines flow together a bit more. There are parts of tehpoem where i feel things just didn't fit properly, and certain lines just felt like they were a bit too long.

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Let's stop saying "Don't quote me"
because if no one quotes you
You probably haven't said a thing worth saying
:iconsparrow1713:
I actually really liked this poem ^^ i'm a huge fan of free verse but i agree there are some choppy bits. At first the bold bits bugged me but i think (after having read it through a bit) it works. Very nice though must be reread a few times to really soak in

Details

June 5, 2004
1.1 KB

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